So bad news & more mad news

I woke up this morning, very thirsty and I had to use the ladies room, and smoke. (yes smoking is bad for you, blah blah blah, I've heard it all) anyway so after I got done taking a few hits off my cigarette i started getting really light headed, for those of you who smoke you know what that's like when let's say you hadn't smoked since last night and you get a little light headed..anyway so i was on my knee scooter, and when i got in the kitchen my ears started ringing, I was losing my balance, all that good stuff and the next thing i know I'm on the ground with water everywhere (i must have took the bottle of water down with me) So I start waking up a little bit and notice my foot hurting really bad, at first I thought it was my already injured foot so I'm oh like hell this is really bad!! But as I wake up more i realize im drenched in water..lol and I get back on my scooter and realize that it's my other foot that hurts now, not my already injured one. Great. Well that was this morning & I can move my foot, it didn't swell so it doesn't seem to be anything too serious but it hurts really bad when I walk on it & the pain like shoots up my leg? Or when I step on it a certain way that's very painful as well. That's just my luck

-_-


So I'm hoping and praying to god I didn't do anything too bad to my one good working foot and that it will be better in a few days or week or two weeks...or whenever as long as its not permanent.

I hope someone out there is having a good day.


Also, i got a call my from my foot doctors office, saying that my doctor would be out of town and I would have to reschedule. I will, I'll just go with a different doctor I guess

So Life Goes On

So I haven't wrote in a while, but nothing has changed much.
My doctor appointment is coming up soon to decide what we are going to do with this foot of mine!
I'm hoping that it magically healed itself and I'm good to go but that's not reality. So, I'm pretty sure he's going to be like oooookay let's do this fusion.

I've experimented - usually i keep my foot up at night and uncovered because i don't want it to get wrapped in the blankets and mess it up or turn it the wrong way, so I've covered it up a few times and nothing happened! Which is good because I'm tired of my ONE foot being cold all the time..
Also, when on crutches & resting in one spot, I'll put my foot down just to see if I can get it all the way on the ground like flat - I can but its uncomfortable, I also applied a bit of pressure and ...yeah it still hurts.
But i can move all my toes, not a lot but it's a start right?!

I've had my good friend stay with me for a while, she's my best friend & she had to leave today So i'm pretty sad about that but she has a life too - she lives up north & I'm near the bottom of Michigan. 

Life has been not so great, but I'm dealing with it. My grandma is having medical problems that could be life threatening :( I've been fighting with my sister, which is sad because we were so close.
And I'm still dealing with a heart break

I keep thinking that it could get worse but let's hope it doesn't & let's hope it gets better. This time in my life is really testing my strength. I have my up and downs, mostly downs but I think I'm staying afloat pretty well. 

So..the plan!

So, I have made a choice.
The doctor I chose has did surgery on my grandma her knee's and shoulder.

His plan:

See how it goes for a month, if it's healing good then we can go from there
& if not then we will go ahead and do the fusion.


I feel good about my decision.

Also, recently - Whenever i don't have my foot up like when it's down it turns blue
I went to the ER and they didn't find a blood clot.
Soo..I don't know what's going on there. Any suggestions? Did that happen to anyone else?

update! the biiiiiig news

So in a nut shell, one doctor says surgery

Another one says it's not worth it.


The bone was crushed on the bottom of my foot and one doctor wants to put the hardware in
but I went to get a second opinion and he said that it wasn't moved enough & that either way i do it i'm always going to have problems, & that's surgery would further complicate things because the broken bone is already probably healed since it's almost been a month since the injury and at this point it might not even move. He said he wouldn't do it if it was his foot and that we should let it heal on it's own and if i'm still having problems in 6 months to a year then he would do the fusion.


I have no idea what to do!!

Am I going about this the wrong way?

So, My doc told me to stay off my foot. I have crutches.

My family keeps saying that I should get up instead of lay on the couch all day & that I'm only depressed because of  [who's name we shall not speak]

They said I need to get up and do things, and that I'm being a crybaby.

It's possible.

Any suggestions, idea's? are they right? I'm open for opinions.

It's late & I can't sleep.

Has anyone ever seen the series 1000 ways to die?

Crazy stuff...and very graphic.

Which brings me to my point, I may not be able to walk but I'm happy that I'm alive.

You think about your life, & everything you've done and the choices you've made, it makes you realize how fast time goes by & how precious life truly is.

Regardless of my current injury and what it may bring in the future and my current heartbreak, life goes on.
In due time, my foot & heart will heal...and then I feel like I can start fresh.

I've learned a lot from all this:
1. I'm very clumsy.
2. Trust NO ONE
3. Tv is extremely overrated
4. I'm damn good reader
5.1000 ways to die.(ha! get it?!)

I often sit here and think about all the things I WILL be able to do in the future, because now,  It seems a lot more important, having an injury really opens your eyes up.

Yay, some progress!

Okay, enough boy drama.

Back to the real problem here, my foot! I'm sorry I can't get my x rays or anything, but my foot looks pretty much like everyone's elses when they have this injury.

This is my foot about 2 weeks ago, when this first happened. Gross eh?

This is my foot now, compared to the other one. I've done nothing but hurt my other foot by the way, ..of course.

& my foot now! So the swelling has gone down considerably.. kind of. Not the best pictures but hey.

Last night I got irritated, It happens So while I'm laying there on the couch I decided to put some pressure on my foot and put me knee up....and NOTHING HAPPENED, BUT, that was on a couch and I didn't put that much weight on it. So today, I think I'll try the hard floor & more weight just to see where I'm at. I'm scared!! But I'm dying to know how far I can go.


There's so much more to this injury than not being able to walk.


I've felt myself become more and more depressed everyday. At first there's a million scary thoughts going through my head, and it's easy to get down, I still struggle with it. Will I ever be able to walk again, normally? How long am I going to be out? What on gods earth am I going to do with all this time? Sooo many questions & not enough answers. 

Thursday cannot come soon enough. My appointment with my doctor (who is awesomely nice) will tell me hopefully, what exactly is going on, if in fact I do have lis franc and the results of the cat scan and what  steps to take from there. I'm pretty sure it is lis franc because after all the blogs I've read, I think it's safe to say that's whats going on here.


& on top of all this, my heart hurts.


I REFUSE to sit around and be sad ALL day, I've found good phone conversations & laughs will help, a good jam session, tv series and an awesome book.


I just have to take it day by day.