Am I going about this the wrong way?

So, My doc told me to stay off my foot. I have crutches.

My family keeps saying that I should get up instead of lay on the couch all day & that I'm only depressed because of  [who's name we shall not speak]

They said I need to get up and do things, and that I'm being a crybaby.

It's possible.

Any suggestions, idea's? are they right? I'm open for opinions.

It's late & I can't sleep.

Has anyone ever seen the series 1000 ways to die?

Crazy stuff...and very graphic.

Which brings me to my point, I may not be able to walk but I'm happy that I'm alive.

You think about your life, & everything you've done and the choices you've made, it makes you realize how fast time goes by & how precious life truly is.

Regardless of my current injury and what it may bring in the future and my current heartbreak, life goes on.
In due time, my foot & heart will heal...and then I feel like I can start fresh.

I've learned a lot from all this:
1. I'm very clumsy.
2. Trust NO ONE
3. Tv is extremely overrated
4. I'm damn good reader
5.1000 ways to die.(ha! get it?!)

I often sit here and think about all the things I WILL be able to do in the future, because now,  It seems a lot more important, having an injury really opens your eyes up.

Yay, some progress!

Okay, enough boy drama.

Back to the real problem here, my foot! I'm sorry I can't get my x rays or anything, but my foot looks pretty much like everyone's elses when they have this injury.

This is my foot about 2 weeks ago, when this first happened. Gross eh?

This is my foot now, compared to the other one. I've done nothing but hurt my other foot by the way, ..of course.

& my foot now! So the swelling has gone down considerably.. kind of. Not the best pictures but hey.

Last night I got irritated, It happens So while I'm laying there on the couch I decided to put some pressure on my foot and put me knee up....and NOTHING HAPPENED, BUT, that was on a couch and I didn't put that much weight on it. So today, I think I'll try the hard floor & more weight just to see where I'm at. I'm scared!! But I'm dying to know how far I can go.


There's so much more to this injury than not being able to walk.


I've felt myself become more and more depressed everyday. At first there's a million scary thoughts going through my head, and it's easy to get down, I still struggle with it. Will I ever be able to walk again, normally? How long am I going to be out? What on gods earth am I going to do with all this time? Sooo many questions & not enough answers. 

Thursday cannot come soon enough. My appointment with my doctor (who is awesomely nice) will tell me hopefully, what exactly is going on, if in fact I do have lis franc and the results of the cat scan and what  steps to take from there. I'm pretty sure it is lis franc because after all the blogs I've read, I think it's safe to say that's whats going on here.


& on top of all this, my heart hurts.


I REFUSE to sit around and be sad ALL day, I've found good phone conversations & laughs will help, a good jam session, tv series and an awesome book.


I just have to take it day by day.

A little explanation

Let's start from the beginning;

Years ago, when MySpace was cool and having 3-83490583409534 friends, that mostly consist of people you didn't know, I found a boy. Not just any boy, he was special. In my own world, where nothing makes sense & weird was the only way to go, & anything depressing was brilliant -  I had found someone who could possibly understand. He lived in the same town that I did, knew some of the people I knew but we had never crossed paths until I added him on MySpace. Thus began our journey, We talked, and talked and talked. I really liked him, I was sure I had found the most amazing human being to ever live, besides myself of course. Let's remember, I was ohh maybe 17..we never made anything out of that, never decided to meet up or anything. Time went on and we had both found relationships. So about 3 years later, after my horrible break up with my ex of two years I decided to try out POF. For anyone who's ever been on that website, you know how it is. As fate would have it, guess who I found! My dream boy. So things went from there, he added me on facebook, we started texting, talking on the phone blah blah and we liked each other but being older now we decided we should meet up. I was nervous at first, I have self esteem issues and I felt that for him, I had to be perfect. For 4 months he waited to see me. It was not all fun, I had told myself to never trust another man, no one would have hurt me like that again and I was sticking too it, this was a problem. Also, we had our differences, I believed in god and he didn't. He convinced me that he truly did like me and that he was not like all the other guys around this town & my first mistake was believing him. I had to, his ex cheated on him,  he's had bad breaks up, that matched with my history so I thought just maybe I had found someone who wouldn't tear my heart to pieces. There were so many things I liked about him, he made me feel special, like he understood me. I got scared a couple of times & tried to break it off but I couldn't let go. So after his pleading and promises I threw caution to the wind and said to hell with it, I'm in. We finally met up, and he was everything I expected plus more. A few weeks in, things started to go downhill. We were fighting a lot and not getting along, So one day he text me & says that he needs time and that he's going through a lot and that his ex tried to talk to him and that it hurt him more than he thought and that it wasn't fair for me. You can sit there and think he did the right thing by being honest, and he probably did but that doesn't stop the bleeding. I put my trust in him, my faith and I had given him everything I had, A break is still a break.The same week, Friday the 13th I slid down some stairs and I was FREAKING out, my foot looked like a watermelon, I couldn't walk on it at all. I went to the ER they said possible fracture and said to fallow up with an appointment with the bone doctor. The great doctor looked at my x rays and didn't see a break but he suggested Lis Franc.  With all this going on, I broke down. To any of you who has suffered from anything like this, you'll understand. You can't walk, you can't get up and take a piss without something hurting, You could go INSANE from being so bored all the time. The sun is shining outside but you can't go enjoy it. Most of all, You just want to walk. S0, I'm still waiting on my results of the cat scan to decide If  I need surgery or not and I had never done anything like this, I've never gotten stung by a bee. I'm scared and freaking out & on top of all this I'm dealing with a broken heart. I started this blog so people know, so I can share my pain with the world because It's better than holding it all in & if someone has anything to say, an opinion or suggestion or advice or just can relate, Please let me know. I love talking.